You can't have trust without faith. Or is it, you can't have faith without trust?
Well, I would genuinely love to hear any feedback you all may have, but I'd also like to share my recent experience on the topic. I'm going to take the trust comes first avenue.
One definition of trust is the confident expectation or HOPE in something. In Hebrews the bible defines faith as: The substance of things "hoped" for, the evidence of things not seen. Hope comes first. Too much information, stay with me!
So in literally about 4 situations in my life, my hope had apparently been running lower than usual. I have the tendancy sometimes to try to be stronger than I really am, and I felt that wavering a little. Suddenly, my efforts weren't getting me anywhere, and I felt a little of my world crumbling. I'm not sure if this was a gradual misplacing of where my strength should come from, because clearly the bible says that His (Gods) strength is made perfect in our weakness. I wasn't allowing that strength to operate. I think I was trying all by myself. I wish I had an answer as to why, because clearly God has proven Himself MULTIPLE times in my life... but man oh man, was the rain coming down.
Every aspect of my life seems like it's under attack. My family, like NEVER before, my health, relationships...literally EVERY area, under attack full force.
Well, if my hope were where it should have been, in Jesus... I wouldn't have felt my world crumbling, because I would have trusted God had it. Apparently somewhere down the road I put my hope in other places that didn't shout to me truth about what God says about family, health and relationships. You see...FAITH comes by hearing...and hearing the Word of God.
When you're feeding yourself what God says, you're feeding yourself truth. LIke this: my situation says that my health isn't perfect, but GOD says that he forgives all my sins and heals all of my diseases.... and God has this track record of being right, regardless of the circumstance.
So here we go, I begin to place my hope where it belongs...Gods promises. I begin to trust Him because He's proven Himself faithful, and my faith is built. But without discovering Gods promises, and stirring up that hope, it's a little more difficult to build that faith.
I'm in the middle of this faith building thing right now... and I'm hopeful :) so Hopeful. I'm finding delight in my Savior. And I'm so thankful for Jesus being given so that we can have a relationship with this God who has CRAZY love for us, and wants us to be whole, complete, rid of insecurities and anxiety, healthy and happy. I wanna love like that!
Monday, December 24, 2012
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Post-Haiti
Oh my. What an AMAZING, life changing week.
I left for Haiti July 24th and returned July 31st... and I can't begin to describe how incredible that 1 week was. But I will try anyway :) Going to Peru last year changed my life. Experiencing a 3rd world country and true poverty is a humbling, perspective gaining experience. I think most any American who has been out of the country can testify to this. Well, the problem is... what do I DO with that experience? I mean, it could be as simple as sending money... some people adopot kids, some people go back, some people go back and STAY. My struggle has been, "Lord, what do you want me to do with this experience?"
Coming back to the U.S. was an extremely difficult transition. I became quite accustomed to no cell phone/media distractions. Being able to completely focus on helping others and carrying out Gods work is an extremely rewarding position to be in, no matter how tiring. After about 3 years of what I feel like has been a "transition period" in my life... my spirit really felt awakened on this trip for the first time in a long time. I gained a new passion and desire to follow after Gods will and destiny for my life. Normally, pride would get in the way of me saying something like this... but it's so exciting, I'm not concerned! So there I was....riding in the plane to Ohio after possibly the most life changing week of my life, contemplating what to do when I get back.
Well, I will say one thing... I DON'T have all the answers. But what I do have are 2 simple life applications that were taught to me by two new friends I made in Haiti. My new friend, Michael, shared on the first day that "steps" were big to him. What does this mean? Well... say you have a goal that seems unattainable. It may seem SO unattainable, that you simply don't try to achieve it. Well what if one little step one day got you closer.... and then a medium step a few months later got you a little more closer....and what if eventually, you're staring your goal/dream/vision/whatever IN THE FACE?!?! This can be something as simple as...returning a phone call. Visiting a loved one. Being bold enough to pray for someone who's going through a difficult time.
The second thing I heard about was from one of the Haitian interpreters, Henry Claude. He shared about time. He experienced a time when he felt like God wanted him to do something...and he felt like because he didn't do it right away, there were some negative consequences. How many times have I felt that way? Tooooo many to count. Well, he went even further and spoke to our team directly.... What did we feel like God put in our hearts during the trip? What specifically did we know was a new vision or dream from the Lord? Do it now. What is stopping you? THis goes hand in hand with steps.... maybe you can't achieve the whole thing right away, but MOVE FORWARD.
Man, these 2 lessons alone are enough to fuel my fire for a while. But I'm gonna get more anyway!
Pray for the nation of Haiti. We may seem blessed as Americans, and we are.... but Haiti is blessed too... and it's full of blessings.
Maybe one little step you can take is getting involved in missions.... a great way to do so: Acts 29 ministries. That's the organization I went to Haiti with, like them on facebook, send a donation, apply to do a mission if you feel led/called... God is doing amazing things there, and you will be BLESSED to get involved!
I left for Haiti July 24th and returned July 31st... and I can't begin to describe how incredible that 1 week was. But I will try anyway :) Going to Peru last year changed my life. Experiencing a 3rd world country and true poverty is a humbling, perspective gaining experience. I think most any American who has been out of the country can testify to this. Well, the problem is... what do I DO with that experience? I mean, it could be as simple as sending money... some people adopot kids, some people go back, some people go back and STAY. My struggle has been, "Lord, what do you want me to do with this experience?"
Coming back to the U.S. was an extremely difficult transition. I became quite accustomed to no cell phone/media distractions. Being able to completely focus on helping others and carrying out Gods work is an extremely rewarding position to be in, no matter how tiring. After about 3 years of what I feel like has been a "transition period" in my life... my spirit really felt awakened on this trip for the first time in a long time. I gained a new passion and desire to follow after Gods will and destiny for my life. Normally, pride would get in the way of me saying something like this... but it's so exciting, I'm not concerned! So there I was....riding in the plane to Ohio after possibly the most life changing week of my life, contemplating what to do when I get back.
Well, I will say one thing... I DON'T have all the answers. But what I do have are 2 simple life applications that were taught to me by two new friends I made in Haiti. My new friend, Michael, shared on the first day that "steps" were big to him. What does this mean? Well... say you have a goal that seems unattainable. It may seem SO unattainable, that you simply don't try to achieve it. Well what if one little step one day got you closer.... and then a medium step a few months later got you a little more closer....and what if eventually, you're staring your goal/dream/vision/whatever IN THE FACE?!?! This can be something as simple as...returning a phone call. Visiting a loved one. Being bold enough to pray for someone who's going through a difficult time.
The second thing I heard about was from one of the Haitian interpreters, Henry Claude. He shared about time. He experienced a time when he felt like God wanted him to do something...and he felt like because he didn't do it right away, there were some negative consequences. How many times have I felt that way? Tooooo many to count. Well, he went even further and spoke to our team directly.... What did we feel like God put in our hearts during the trip? What specifically did we know was a new vision or dream from the Lord? Do it now. What is stopping you? THis goes hand in hand with steps.... maybe you can't achieve the whole thing right away, but MOVE FORWARD.
Man, these 2 lessons alone are enough to fuel my fire for a while. But I'm gonna get more anyway!
Pray for the nation of Haiti. We may seem blessed as Americans, and we are.... but Haiti is blessed too... and it's full of blessings.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Anticipation
I want to kick myself each time I start up a blog, do pretty well....then neglect it. Inconsistency. I'm telling you what, when I defeat that one, I will be a world champion for sure! I really struggle with inconsistency.
My parents gave me a box full of old piano books and binders from High School. I was organizing all this stuff and putting it away...and I discovered some treasures. Most of the binders were from my Creative Writing class in High School. Let me tell you...I LOVED to write, and I wasn't half bad. But the content was cracking me up. I had a crush on this guy my junior year and it consumed a lot of my content. Directly and indirectly. I even wrote a short story and gave alias's close to our names. Ha! It's funny to see how, almost 10 years later, I'm in a completely different place in life and I see so much of myself still in those little poems. And a few of them, I'm like....what in the HECK was I thinking?
I came across one little gem, a poem I wrote in honor of my nephew, Cole, who isn't with us anymore. And I feel compelled to share it, so I will.
Anticipation
You were an unexpected gift when you were conceived
At two, how much you'd grown was hard to believe
When you turned three you scraped lots of knees
At four, we didn't know how much joy you would bring
You were five when you started in the first grade
At six your life was beginning to fade
But who would have guessed that when you turned seven
You'd make your way on up to heaven
And though on this earth, we won't see you again
We won't take for granted the time that we spend
We won't ever forget your bright, smiling face
We won't forget your smile as your ran over home base
Your laugh plays constantly in our minds
We desperately miss your heart, so giving and kind
I can't wait to see you again one sweet day
And I'll hug your neck on that glorious day
My parents gave me a box full of old piano books and binders from High School. I was organizing all this stuff and putting it away...and I discovered some treasures. Most of the binders were from my Creative Writing class in High School. Let me tell you...I LOVED to write, and I wasn't half bad. But the content was cracking me up. I had a crush on this guy my junior year and it consumed a lot of my content. Directly and indirectly. I even wrote a short story and gave alias's close to our names. Ha! It's funny to see how, almost 10 years later, I'm in a completely different place in life and I see so much of myself still in those little poems. And a few of them, I'm like....what in the HECK was I thinking?
I came across one little gem, a poem I wrote in honor of my nephew, Cole, who isn't with us anymore. And I feel compelled to share it, so I will.
Anticipation
You were an unexpected gift when you were conceived
At two, how much you'd grown was hard to believe
When you turned three you scraped lots of knees
At four, we didn't know how much joy you would bring
You were five when you started in the first grade
At six your life was beginning to fade
But who would have guessed that when you turned seven
You'd make your way on up to heaven
And though on this earth, we won't see you again
We won't take for granted the time that we spend
We won't ever forget your bright, smiling face
We won't forget your smile as your ran over home base
Your laugh plays constantly in our minds
We desperately miss your heart, so giving and kind
I can't wait to see you again one sweet day
And I'll hug your neck on that glorious day
Friday, January 6, 2012
Shattered glass
An interesting thing happened to me last night. I got in a car accident.
I had just left Chipotle with some friends and I was on my way home. Typically I go south on i75, but I can go north too. It's about the same distance, really so I mix up my route a lot. Well, leaving Chipotle, I was deciding which direction to go and couldn't make up my mind so I passed both ramps. I had to turn around and start coming back the other direction. It was dark and I'm not in this particular area very often, so I was focusing on which lane to get into. You know, looking UP at the signs. By the time I'd made a decision and figured it out I looked forward. JUST in time to see a car turn in front of me AND the blessed red light. I had 2 seconds to react and besides slamming on my brakes to no avail, I closed my eyes. When I opened them all I could see was my air bag and some smoke. I knew two things right away. I was OK, and it was MY fault. I got out frantically looking for the other car, crying hysterically, and praying that there weren't children involved and everyone was OK. Thank GOD, they were. It was one girl by herself, and she was definitely shaken up, who wouldn't be, but OK.
When my car blasted hers and I opened my eyes, the following thoughts flooded my mind immediately. 1. This is a freaking TERRIBLE way to begin a new year. Where's that financial freedom I need NOW? and 2. DANG IT. I was going to have my car paid off by November. By the looks of it, my car is probably totaled.
However, these petty details literally faded to petty the moment I saw her car, and mine. The moment I saw her shivering with anxiety. How blessed am I, that it wasn't sooo much worse than it could have been? How blessed am I to have family willing to respond, support me, even if it was my own dang fault. How blessed am I to be able to apologize to her (to no avail lol, which is totally understandable) because we're both alive. I was suddenly not so irritated about having a car payment, and a lot more appreciative to have life.
Obviously, perspective gained, lesson learned. But I'm just thankful for preservation. And thankful for that annoying reminder that I'm human. I have to go through the difficulties and triumphs of life. I have smacks in the face sometime that prove what I'm made of. Sometimes I pass the test and sometimes I don't. But I know this much, I am so blessed to have the opportunity to LIVE. We get to live. That's a beautiful gift :)
I had just left Chipotle with some friends and I was on my way home. Typically I go south on i75, but I can go north too. It's about the same distance, really so I mix up my route a lot. Well, leaving Chipotle, I was deciding which direction to go and couldn't make up my mind so I passed both ramps. I had to turn around and start coming back the other direction. It was dark and I'm not in this particular area very often, so I was focusing on which lane to get into. You know, looking UP at the signs. By the time I'd made a decision and figured it out I looked forward. JUST in time to see a car turn in front of me AND the blessed red light. I had 2 seconds to react and besides slamming on my brakes to no avail, I closed my eyes. When I opened them all I could see was my air bag and some smoke. I knew two things right away. I was OK, and it was MY fault. I got out frantically looking for the other car, crying hysterically, and praying that there weren't children involved and everyone was OK. Thank GOD, they were. It was one girl by herself, and she was definitely shaken up, who wouldn't be, but OK.
When my car blasted hers and I opened my eyes, the following thoughts flooded my mind immediately. 1. This is a freaking TERRIBLE way to begin a new year. Where's that financial freedom I need NOW? and 2. DANG IT. I was going to have my car paid off by November. By the looks of it, my car is probably totaled.
However, these petty details literally faded to petty the moment I saw her car, and mine. The moment I saw her shivering with anxiety. How blessed am I, that it wasn't sooo much worse than it could have been? How blessed am I to have family willing to respond, support me, even if it was my own dang fault. How blessed am I to be able to apologize to her (to no avail lol, which is totally understandable) because we're both alive. I was suddenly not so irritated about having a car payment, and a lot more appreciative to have life.
Obviously, perspective gained, lesson learned. But I'm just thankful for preservation. And thankful for that annoying reminder that I'm human. I have to go through the difficulties and triumphs of life. I have smacks in the face sometime that prove what I'm made of. Sometimes I pass the test and sometimes I don't. But I know this much, I am so blessed to have the opportunity to LIVE. We get to live. That's a beautiful gift :)
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Attitude and Approach
New Years Resolutions. I reflect on this topic every year. I won't lie, I can't think of a time where I can tell you I had success in this area on this specific year. BUT--that won't stop me from making some goals. Writing them down.
If anything, I'd say my success rate wasn't higher due to one annoying little factor: discipline. Typically, my resolution involves being healthier. Including losing a few pounds, making better food choices and exercising. I mean, that's just one resolution, there are definitely others, but we'll focus on just the one for now. Why do I never accomplish this goal? Is ultimately satisfying my fleshly hunger more important than being healthy? Why does this seem to come SO much easier to others? I've read books, I know what it takes.
Well, all this being said: I've changed my resolution from weight loss to follow through, in a lot of areas. More proactive. More intentional.
Instead of saying, "I wish I could fit into this" eat an apple. Instead of saying, "I wish I didn't have so much debt" pack my frickin lunch.
Hopefully I'll be more successful this year, because I want to change my attitude and approach before changing certain areas. And through Christ, all things are possible. Without Him, it isn't. SO--thank goodness for a constant companion through my journey!
If anything, I'd say my success rate wasn't higher due to one annoying little factor: discipline. Typically, my resolution involves being healthier. Including losing a few pounds, making better food choices and exercising. I mean, that's just one resolution, there are definitely others, but we'll focus on just the one for now. Why do I never accomplish this goal? Is ultimately satisfying my fleshly hunger more important than being healthy? Why does this seem to come SO much easier to others? I've read books, I know what it takes.
Well, all this being said: I've changed my resolution from weight loss to follow through, in a lot of areas. More proactive. More intentional.
Instead of saying, "I wish I could fit into this" eat an apple. Instead of saying, "I wish I didn't have so much debt" pack my frickin lunch.
Hopefully I'll be more successful this year, because I want to change my attitude and approach before changing certain areas. And through Christ, all things are possible. Without Him, it isn't. SO--thank goodness for a constant companion through my journey!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)