Shattered glass

An interesting thing happened to me last night.  I got in a car accident. 

I had just left Chipotle with some friends and I was on my way home.  Typically I go south on i75, but I can go north too.  It's about the same distance, really so I mix up my route a lot.  Well, leaving Chipotle, I was deciding which direction to go and couldn't make up my mind so I passed both ramps.  I had to turn around and start coming back the other direction.  It was dark and I'm not in this particular area very often, so I was focusing on which lane to get into.  You know, looking UP at the signs.  By the time I'd made a decision and figured it out I looked forward.  JUST in time to see a car turn in front of me AND the blessed red light.  I had 2 seconds to react and besides slamming on my brakes to no avail, I closed my eyes.  When I opened them all I could see was my air bag and some smoke.  I knew two things right away.  I was OK, and it was MY fault.  I got out frantically looking for the other car, crying hysterically, and praying that there weren't children involved and everyone was OK.  Thank GOD, they were.  It was one girl by herself, and she was definitely shaken up, who wouldn't be, but OK.

When my car blasted hers and I opened my eyes, the following thoughts flooded my mind immediately. 1. This is a freaking TERRIBLE way to begin a new year.  Where's that financial freedom I need NOW? and 2. DANG IT.  I was going to have my car paid off by November.  By the looks of it, my car is probably totaled. 

However, these petty details literally faded to petty the moment I saw her car, and mine.  The moment I saw her shivering with anxiety.  How blessed am I, that it wasn't sooo much worse than it could have been?  How blessed am I to have family willing to respond, support me, even if it was my own dang fault.  How blessed am I to be able to apologize to her (to no avail lol, which is totally understandable) because we're both alive.  I was suddenly not so irritated about having a car payment, and a lot more appreciative to have life.

Obviously, perspective gained, lesson learned.  But I'm just thankful for preservation.  And thankful for that annoying reminder that I'm human.  I have to go through the difficulties and triumphs of life.  I have smacks in the face sometime that prove what I'm made of.  Sometimes I pass the test and sometimes I don't.  But I know this much, I am so blessed to have the opportunity to LIVE.  We get to live.  That's a beautiful gift :)

Attitude and Approach

New Years Resolutions.  I reflect on this topic every year.  I won't lie, I can't think of a time where I can tell you I had success in this area on this specific year.  BUT--that won't stop me from making some goals.  Writing them down. 

If anything, I'd say my success rate wasn't higher due to one annoying little factor: discipline.  Typically, my resolution involves being healthier.  Including losing a few pounds, making better food choices and exercising.  I mean, that's just one resolution, there are definitely others, but we'll focus on just the one for now.  Why do I never accomplish this goal?  Is ultimately satisfying my fleshly hunger more important than being healthy?  Why does this seem to come SO much easier to others?  I've read books, I know what it takes. 

Well, all this being said: I've changed my resolution from weight loss to follow through, in a lot of areas.  More proactive.  More intentional. 

Instead of saying, "I wish I could fit into this" eat an apple.  Instead of saying, "I wish I didn't have so much debt" pack my frickin lunch.

Hopefully I'll be more successful this year, because I want to change my attitude and approach before changing certain areas.  And through Christ, all things are possible.  Without Him, it isn't.  SO--thank goodness for a constant companion through my journey!